I had a cerclage and it failed my water broke through it and i have to be in labor. Im so devastated to the point that feeling my water breaking was the worst feeling ever. I feel so empty. So sorry to hear of your loss and really hope that you have found some comfort from our site. Please call us on if you need to talk. We are here to support anyone who loses a baby during the pregnancy or just after birth. We are here Monday to Friday pm to support you.
Take good care of yourself x. Dear Maria, I can understand your grief even after a year. I hope you gain some comfort from this page in knowing that you are not alone. If you would like to speak to someone please don't hesitate to contact us at Tommys We have a midwife here to support you from Monday to Friday pm Take good care of yourself. Doctors told me he was not compatible with life and they had to induce labor. I gave birth to the most precious little angel the world has ever seen on July Since then I am not the same person anymore.
I find no joy in living and feel exhausted all day. I have no motivation to keep going.
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The only time of the day I enjoy is at night when I get to go to sleep. Getting up and face another day is torture. It takes all of me to just be. I feel hopeless, broken and lost. I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your baby and can only imagine what you are going through at the moment.
From the feelings that you describe it 's very important that you seek professional support urgently. I hope you have support from family and friends; also that you have been able to talk through your experience with the Maternity unit that cared for you. Please also contact Tommy's PregnancyLine- if it would help you to talk to a Tommy's midwife.
Hi Ameenat, We are so sorry to hear that you have lost both of you little ones so very recently. This must be a very difficult time of you and your family and we cannot even begin to imagine how you are feeling. Best Wishes Tommy's Midwives x. I am so sorry for the loss of your babies. There is nothing worse in life to lose your children. I wish you strength.
I am the mother of a stillborn baby. You are not alone in the pain. Lost my baby due to gestational diabetes and its painful feels like it's unreal this happened March Hi Raeesa, We are so sorry to hear about the loss of your baby, we can't even being to imagine how you must be feeling at this time. Please take care of yourself, Tommy's Midwives x.
I lost mine on Tuesday last week. I neonatal hyperglycemia. It still is unreal!
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Hi Amina, We are so very sorry to hear about the loss of your 2 precious babies. We cannot even being to imagine what you and your family must be going through at this time. Take Care, Tommy's Midwives x. Best wishes, Tommy's midwives x. Dear Gugu, I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your daughter. My thoughts are with you, take care, Tommy's midwives x. Hi, My still birthed cousin died a few years ago.
It was a horrible feeling. I want to know what I could have done differently to get over the grief. Thankyou xx. Hi Lina I am so sorry to hear about the passing of your baby cousin. It might be best for you to call me on to have a detailed chat about this, rather than message here in a public space. Thinking of you at this time as you are struggling with your grief.
Sophie,Tommy's Midwife. Hi , we lost our baby, my first grandchild 5 days after her due date as true to form she was stubborn and didn't want to come on Jan 1 The recurring theme I am seeing is similar to my daughters story and what I am reading is that physicians are not listening to the complaints of their patients. Perhaps its because you cant really see the baby to assess the well being and of course familiarity with the patient is also and added issue.
Mostly I think that physicians are misdiagnosing placental abruption and are looking too literally at the text book and not taking people as individuals into consideration. No one person presents the same for any condition and physicians need to stop putting everyone in the same category and start looking at the patient as an individual. Having said that I think it is safe to assume that I am deeply disheartened, hurt, sad that my 17 year old daughter had to endure a tragedy like losing her baby because she was unable to articulate her symptoms to a physician the night before she lost our Marie Ann.
Coping with grief after the loss of a baby – for parents | Tommy’s
Sometimes you have to look further, I am a Nurse if I ignored every complaint or concern a patient or family member expressed I wouldn't have many living patients or be very good at my job. Fortunately I am not that Nurse. I wish I wish I wish I could trade places with my girl or her baby so that she wouldn't ever have to know the pain of losing a child. I have two great tragedies in my life He broke me.
The second was the loss of my grand daughter she shattered me. Good luck to all of you. I am hoping and praying that my daughter will recover from this horrible tragedy, have many more children, as she will be a wonderful I base my well being upon her. If she is ok then I am ok. Dawn, this is such a poignant piece of writing, Thank you so much for your input.
I am so sorry for what you and your daughter have been through.
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It must be so raw for you. If we can help to support you call us on We are a team of midwives who are here Monday to Friday to support you. I too hope that she has a level of ok to maintain her but I know that with your unconditional support she will have as good a chance as any. Our best wishes to both of you x. Ever since then its been so tough on me as i continually ask myself why me.
Most of the people who where pregnant with me have all delivered carrying thier babies but me i am not. Its not easy. Hi francaogechi, I am so sorry to hear about the passing of your lovely son. That really must have been a very difficult experience for you and your family! It sounds as if you might benefit from some sort of counselling or talking therapy as it sounds as if you are still struggling to come to terms with what has happened and why.
Counselling will enable you to talk through your memories, thoughts and feeling, and be given ways to channel your focus in other ways to help manage your grief. You are also welcome to call us on the pregnacyline to speak to one of us in the team. We are not counsellors, but we are used to talking to women who have lost babies, and you might find a friendly chat useful.
We are here if you need us. Relate offer face to face, telephone and online counselling. Helpline: Open Monday to Friday 9. Email: Via website address below Website: www. I was 31 week and I'm very lost, would you mind talking to me? Hi Cheyenne, I am so sorry to hear about the passing of your little boy.
Of course we would be more than happy to speak to you- its wonderful that you have felt able to reach out for some support at this difficult time. Sophie Tommy's Midwife. Hi, Thank you for your post. You have been such a lovely Mum to your little girl singing to her every day and loving her in everything you did during your pregnancy. I cannot imagine the hell you and your husband are going through after losing her and having to recover from a caesarean as well.
I'm not sure where you live and whether you have an option for counselling when you are ready?
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Many parents find it is a lifesaver to join a forum so that they can talk to other bereaved Parents about their experience and loss as they truly understand what you are going through. Mentally this is going to be a very long and painful journey and you and your Husband need lots of love and support from friends and family.
There is a lot of information that might be helpful to read through on our website. We are also here if you ever want to talk on With love and my sincere condolences Anna-Tommy's Midwife. I am having a hard day. My story is extremely similar to yours, except one day sooner. My baby girl was born stillborn on Oct 21, one month ago today.
I was 38 weeks and I too finally got pregnant after 4yrs of marriage l. I am so sorry for your loss. It hurts so bad. Reading this website has made me understand that a lot of people have felt similar things, but it is still so hard. I hurt for my baby, myself, and all the people who have gone through this too.
You will be in my thoughts. We will make it through this somehow. Hi Emily. I am so sorry to here about little Avery- please know that you can call us or contact us if you need any support or advice. We are happy to help! Please take good care of yourself and thank you for sharing your story with us and supporting others like yourself!
Your'e a wonderful woman! Sending love! Sophie, Tommy's Midwife. Its really hard and hurt. Hi there, i am so very sorry to hear about the passing of your daughter. Please do get in touch with us by email or phone if you need any support, advice or even just a friendly chat. Thinking of you at this difficult time! Hey how is everyone doing I lost my baby at 22 weeks my water broke on August 3rd n I had her on August 4 at and she passed away at I held her the whole time bc my doctor had already told me it was nothing they could do for her.
I was told at 16 that I would never be able to have kids bc I have pcos but on may 17 I was told that I was pregnant n I found it in June that it was a girl I was so happy but when my water broke on August 3 my whole world went turning up side down I still think bout my little princess everyday I never imagined that I would have to go through this but it's a hard hard pill to swallow well thanks for reading.
Hi there. I am so sorry to hear about the passing of your little girl in Aug. I cannot begin to imagine how difficult that is for you and your family. Please do contact us if you need any further support from us. We can be reached by email and telephone. Thinking of you at this time and sending our love.
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I lost my daughter at 36 weeks. I was in labour for 3 days knowing that at the end of it all i had to say hello and goodbye to my beautiful girl all in one moment. I never imagined that on the day of my first childs birth i would be signing autopsy documents and planning cremation. How can anyone ever describe how this feels? How can anyone ever fathom such pain, and know that they have to go home to a house that their baby will never come home to? I felt like I was in a horrible nightmare or like I must be watching someone elses life cause i couldnt understand how this was actually happening.
I felt embarrassed, here i was so excited to be a mom I felt as though i didnt even have the right to call myself a mother. It was such a whirlwind of emotions that at times i wasnt sure I had the strength or will to survive it. Its been 5 months since I lost my daughter, i think of her every day, and she will always have a huge piece of my heart.
I take it one day at a time and never ignore my emotions because she deserves to be remembered, whether it be through laughter, tears, or moments of solidarity where I sit and try to grasp the reality of the situation. I carried her every second of her life and she will be with me every second of mine. Hello, your beautiful post is hard to read and I cannot imagine what you are going through. I hope in time you will feel the 'right to call yourself a Mother' as that is what you are and will always be to your baby Daughter.
She truly does deserve to be remembered and you acknowledged as her Mom. I include the link below to another Mum learning to live without her Daughter I lost my baby at 21 weeks. While many prodigals never return, some do. Know that the loss of children may lay behind some of the deepest prayers and songs in the Bible.
One is for sure. Job was a godly man who suffered greatly. He loved his children tremendously and went far beyond the normal love and spiritual protection of their souls Job On one day, all of his ten children were killed in a windstorm Job Then Job arose and tore his robe and shaved his head and fell on the ground and worshiped. Job This prayers drips with pathos. He mourns and then he worships. Before my son died, this prayer seemed so far removed from reality, a two-dimensional cartoon of what someone should do — but I see it far closer to my experience.
When they are taken, so is our earthly hope and our future plans. When we are laid bare, if we had the Lord to begin with, all we have left with us is him. We trust him because who else can we turn to? But I acknowledge that not everyone reacts this way.
Two of my good friends who have lost children find it hard to pray and sing. We all react differently. Surprisingly there is no single Psalm about child loss, but his experience must have coloured everything he wrote. Last year, I found myself drawn to sermons and books written by people who had been through the pain of child-loss. I just wanted to hear their normal teaching, prayers and hope in the gospel. I could hear their loss affecting their pastoral care and urgency.
In a similar way, when we read and sing the Psalms, we step into a world where many who wrote them had lost children and the community that sung them was full of families with empty spots at their Sabbath meals. I find there is a depth to all the Psalms of David as I read of his pain, loss, love and joy in the Lord his God.
Little wonder then that most of the people I know who have lost kids are drawn to the Psalms. Psalm spoke for me. Hear my cry, O God, listen to my prayer; from the end of the earth I call to you when my heart is faint. Lead me to the rock that is higher than I … Psalm Like the New Testament, there are stories of children being returned to their parents in the Old Testament. Each portrays interesting responses of the mothers and fathers involved, but even more, each shows the hand of God stepping into this world of brokenness and sin.
Reading these stories can be like joining a prayer group for childless couples. With each wonderful news joy is born internally for those others , but there can be an extra pain for the mother and father whose little one has not yet been returned. I still love these stories and will always volunteer to teach on them. I hope that others also in my club would not avoid them either. The story of Joseph returning to his father is a picture of a dead child being returned to his father.
But it is his mother, Rachel, whom we now turn to. She never saw her son again. Rachel is a such tragic figure since she died giving birth to her second son. She was buried in Bethlehem Gen. Rachel is weeping for her children; she refuses to be comforted for her children, because they are no more. The matriarch is figuratively crying out from her tomb in Bethlehem because her descendants looked like they would die or go into exile.
But God tells Rachel to stop weeping over Israel, because the children will come home. There is hope for your future, declares the LORD, and your children shall come back to their own country. When the New Testament uses this quote of Jesus and the slaughter of the Bethehemite children, we resonate with the pain and agony, but sometimes forget the second half of what God was saying. They will return.
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This promise reminds us of the hope that is found embryonically in the Old Testament and is shown to be completely fulfilled in the New. I will rejoice in Jerusalem and be glad in my people; no more shall be heard in it the sound of weeping and the cry of distress. You can read more in Grief and Bereavement. Family members, friends, support groups, community organizations, or mental health professionals therapists or counselors can all help. The grieving person must travel through the grief process, and should be allowed to move through it at their own pace.
For some people, the grieving process can go on for a long time. This happens more often when a person was very close to the deceased. Sometimes this leads to what is known as complicated grief. For some people who are taking care of a loved one with a long-term illness, complicated grief can actually start while their loved one is still alive.
Caregivers under severe stress, especially if the outlook is bleak, may be at higher risk of having abnormal grief even before the death. If you or anyone close to the deceased has any of the above symptoms of complicated grief, talk with a health care provider or mental health professional.
Certain kinds of mental health treatment have been shown to help people with complicated grief. Treatment is important, since people with complicated grief are at risk of their emotional illness getting worse, and are at higher risk of committing suicide. Ideally, a bereaved person will be able to work through the process of grieving. If you or someone you know has lost a loved one, the following tips may help you cope with the loss:.